There are certain things I never take for granted. Every day, despite my internal struggles, I know how blessed I am (especially because of the family and lifestyle I have) but tonight felt different. After a long, exhausting (but perfect, hitch-less) first day at my new job, I was greeted by notorious Bay Area rush-hour traffic and unseasonably cold, windy weather. But then suddenly, with an indescribable clarity to it, it hit me. The amazing new job I just spoke of, the gas and car that got me safely back to a home-cooked meal made by extended relatives who are allowing me to stay in their (heated) home until my new apartment is ready. The warm shower I just took. The clothes I put on afterwards and the bed I’ll soon be crawling into. The fact that my family is alive and (mostly) healthy. To say I’m feeling pretty darn grateful right about now is an understatement.
Get lost in whatever gets you out of your head and into life. On Monday, I start my dream job in the Bay Area and I’ll be moving into my new San Jose apartment on March 1st. The past few weeks have been a blurry whirlwind. Initially, I felt an unrealistic calm surrounding the major life decisions (but the state of being over the moon was masking reality, fear, and anxiety, which hit next). Today, I finally felt a happy medium settle in, a healthy combination and balance of supernatural peace and excitement over this new chapter. I realized this when tonight, in the quiet of my old apartment, windows open, packed bags surrounding me, I started singing while doing the dishes. It’s one of my things, something I do when I’m happiest, and I just have this good feeling about what’s to come.
Yesterday’s mood: no comment. Last night: a glass of wine, friends, and dancing cure all. Today: focusing on happier times (see above). #movingisstressful (Random aside: Can I create a blog for which I make up captions for / reactions to Bumble profiles? Because it would be fun. And stress relieving.)
This is for the ride or dies. Not the superficial, flakey enablers. Who you indulge in your vices with. Not the half-hearted, half-listening, noncommittal non-initiators. Who reach out when it’s convenient or when they need something. Not the fake smilers or tipsy-friendly grab your waist huggers, we look good together group shot Insta-taggers. Not the you rock, don’t ever changers.
This is for the I’ll meet you halfway, let’s put in the effort, what do you need, I’m there, if you hurt her, I’ll kill you, don’t settle or give yourself away, I love you despite your bad decisions but I’m also not afraid to call you out on them friends. The we might as well be sisters because we fight and make up like ones anyway friends.
This is for the non-competers. The secret keepers. The nonjudgmental non-gossipers. This is for the friends who remind you of your worth and share in your joy and good news. This isn’t for the fling friends. This is for the til death do us part, in sickness and in health, on good days and bad ones, I’ll never leave you or forsake you friends. This is for the lifers. #wordsbytiff
Happy (a few hours early) Birthday to my person. You won’t let me call you an angel but that’s who you are to me. You gave me life and you unknowingly teach me how to be a better human being every day. If every single person was like you, we’d have world peace. You’re my closest friend and God didn’t give me to you, He gave you to me. I love you a million of every good thing in this world. Even though the common cold is keeping me from being there to celebrate you tomorrow, I’ll be there in spirit. Just like always. Because you and I, we’re connected. I love you every day in every way. (The sickness is making me even more sentimental towards you than I would usually be.)
In the industry I work for, if you’re seeking the best opportunities, there’s really only one place to be. Well, I’ve accepted an amazing job opportunity and I’ll be moving to Silicon Valley in February. (My initial reaction was slightly less poised.)
I’m learning that much of our behavior is not a reflection of our best selves or true character but rather our insecurities. This especially applies to female interactions (for proof, just watch any episode of The Bachelor). Men are also mean to one another, just in different ways (#manenough @justinbaldoni). And men and women? Well, I won’t go there.
We forget that at the end of the day we are all just human beings, fumbling around trying to figure out life and find our place in the world, a purpose, belonging, love, and some semblance of happiness (shared goals, people). We all have issues. None of us are perfect. At times, we are all ignorant to our own stupidity and blind to our character flaws. We think and behave differently because we were made differently and none of us have the same life experiences. While we may never understand our differences, we could at least respect them. Compete less. Listen more. Look each other in the eye rather than down at a screen. Maybe even learn a thing or two from one another.
I’m not preaching world peace or saying we should all make a circle, hold hands, and sing Kumbaya. We don’t have to be friends or even necessarily like each other, but we could at least be decent to one another. We could all do better, be better, and seek better. Because here’s the thing. We all hurt, are hurt, and we all know pain. So, let’s not make life harder for each other. Let’s ease the pain. Let’s be good. Maybe even kind.
This week hit home. It hit family. Which means this week hit where it hurts the most. In my family, we say I love you at the end of every conversation. It‘s automatic, but never flippant. We mean it. We never take each other for granted. When one of us hurts, we all do. So I’ve always rolled my eyes upon hearing anything to the effect of “hold your loved ones close” because we know what we have and how special it is. But since unexpected news just shook us to the core, I find myself left only with the urge to cliche-ly say, hold them tighter than your arms can manage. Love them fiercely. Every damn day. Know how lucky you are to have what you have. Because you never know when things can change in an instant. I can’t give out the details and I’ve never asked this before but if you pray, please pray for my family in the next coming months. #circa2012
Mid-run, it started to rain. [*insert cliche quote about rain washing your cares away and leaving you feeling brand new.] Also, random side note: mopping = least favorite, most satisfying thing. #supersoaker#anotherdayanothercliche
I took this photo yesterday morning, feeling beyond grateful to wake up to the view I do every day. And last night, I crossed Tower Bridge. This time, I wasn’t running. As my dog and I leisurely walked across, somehow we had the bridge (lit up under the California “winter” night sky) to ourselves. I got that indescribable feeling I get whenever I have something magical, special, or historic all to myself for a brief moment. Growing up here, I never would’ve thought I would have gotten that feeling in Sacramento. But these days, I do. It wasn’t until hours later that I found out the Golden Globes news. Greta, thank you for creating Lady Bird, a “love letter” to this place I’m now proud to call home. Also, Oprah, 🙌🏻.