Let’s talk about Fruitful. Darkness. SCREW good vibes only. We are equal parts light and dark. Good vibes only is inauthentic. Instead, let’s allow all vibes, all thoughts, all emotions and choose powerful perspectives only. That means not denying negative thoughts, feelings, emotions or circumstances, but recognizing them. Meeting them. And choosing the perspective (not the truth) that they are happening FOR you, as your teacher, and not TO you. Choosing to be grateful for the lessons in pain, in insecurity, in fear, even when you can’t yet understand them. Choosing to love whatever arises. Not avoid it. Not ignore it. Not pretend that the darkness isn’t there. See it for what it is, take 100% responsibility for it, and love it anyway. Because life is a paradox and we cannot love the light within ourselves and others without loving the darkness equally. The fruitful darkness is all around us in bloom. #trevorhall
Let’s talk the real, down and dirty, doesn’t-always-feel-good kind of love.
Loving someone “because they’re so smart or beautiful or funny” is not really love. That is reacting to pleasantries.
When our love is based on reasons, we are not free to love, because we think that we can only be loving if and when someone is making us feel good.
What we are really saying when we say “I love you because…” is “I will only love you if you stay that way,” or “I only love you when you make me feel good.” This is conditional love. It forces the other person to feel, be or act a certain way, or else be un-loved.
Conditional love is a prison. “I love you because you make me happy” means that I am not free to love you when you do not make me happy and you are not free to be who you are unless you make me happy.
If we love someone because of X, when X inevitably changes, we will stop being loving and start withhold ourselves.
The truth is that we can love those we don’t even like. That everyone is equally deserving of our love. That those who are least lovable are those who need love the most. That it is possible to have unpleasant thoughts and sensations about someone and love them anyway.
Love is our natural expression. Love is who we are when we strip away all of our judgements and misconceptions.
We come into this world with undifferentiated love for everything. We don’t start out needing reasons to love.
And then we start withholding our love as a means of getting our way and protecting ourselves.
But the truth is that conditional love is the greatest threat.
Violence is a symptom of us not being present to our unconditional love for one another.
When we believe that we must withhold our love from those who are “undeserving,” then we are not free at all.
True love doesn’t look or feel a certain way. It is not contingent upon conditions.
True love has no prerequisites, it requires no manipulation. It is an unconditional way of being. A place to come from. A choice.
True love is choosing to be loving—even when we don’t feel good, even when we don’t like how others are. And it is the only real choice we ever make.
This guitar has taught me a new language of my heart. I’m not very good (yet), but that’s not what it’s about for me. Making music is an act of creating for the sake of creating. Not to get anywhere or accomplish anything but just to create. Music is medicine for everyone. Not just experts. We don’t need to earn the right to let our hearts express themselves through music. Letting go of shame about my voice and giving myself permission to make music has been so healing. It makes me so so so so so happy every time I get to bring a song to life. Thank you @lapdmusic for awakening me to the magic of music, @nipun_n for being the best guitar teacher I could ask for and @maeriaguirre for helping me learn to allow and trust my voice. 💜🌈 🎼
Don’t fight your shame, fear, judgement, negativity, anxiety, depression, loneliness or heart break. Doing that will only intensify its grip on you. Rather, just be with it. Treat it like a small child. Let it be exactly as it is. You can’t control it so stop trying. Witness it with love. As soon as you see something for what it is, it is now an object of your awareness and no longer you. Thoughts and feelings, wholly witnessed, have as little power over you as the clouds. Be with yourself always and you never have anything to fear.
It’s unbelievable how much I love these goobers and how lucky I feel to have them in my life and to get to act like children with them forever. It’s so important to have people who totally don’t take you seriously at all 👹👽🦕🧜🏼♀️💫 @mangodave93 @angthespange
STOP THINKING THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARRE GOING TO SAY! Stop assuming you already know the answer. Stop stopping yourself from asking! Stop protecting yourself from rejection or from the truth. You will be AMAZED at how many people say yes when you just ask. I challenge you to (respectfully) ask for everything you want for the next week. Ask him out. Ask to get happy hour prices even though you missed it. Ask to go on your favorite podcast. Ask for a free drink or and extra round of bowling. Ask for a raise. Ask your friend why she hasn’t been reaching out to you. Ask your Spanish speaking co-worker to teach you the language on lunch breaks. Ask your uncle if you can stay in his beach condo. Ask a stranger if they think you should cut your hair. Ask a college friend if they’ll come visit you. Get creative!! Scroll through your phone and ask five people something you’ve been wondering. Ask crazy questions. Ask strangers. Ask best friends questions you think you already know the answers to. Ask ask ask ask ask ask ask ask ask and see what unfolds 😘✌️
I once had someone ask me if I was brilliant, point blank, in front of a group of people.
I unflinchingly said yes.
Someone afterwards said she was amazed that I could say that so assuredly without being embarrassed or ashamed.
I realized then that we need to transform our relationship to being conceited.
The word conceited was first recorded in 1600 as meaning “having an overwhelming opinion of oneself.” We all have overwhelming opinions of ourselves and therefore we are all equally conceited.
It is not possible to live without an overwhelming opinion of the entity that you exist inside of, day in and day out.
By definition, you are just as conceited if you believe yourself to be horrible or brilliant.
To say that you are not conceited…that you are the one human on the planet who has managed to escape self-judgement…is conceited.
So if we can’t escape being conceited, is it not best that we all believe ourselves to be brilliant?
We have wrongly correlated having positive opinions about ourselves with being and acting entitled, holier than thou, arrogant and un-self-aware.
But there is no necessary correlation between thinking positively of oneself and negatively of others.
It is not destructive to love oneself.
I believe people when they compliment me. I let myself take up space. I let my voice be heard even when I know it might offend someone. I let myself eat foods that I don’t need to. I let myself spend money that I don’t need to.
I have an overwhelmingly positive opinion of myself, and I have no problem with that.
Because I also get that I suck sometimes. I’m not afraid to admit fault. I am willing to take responsibility for how I occur to others.
Being conceited is only an issue when it is so absolute that it blinds you to contradictory information, causing you to be unaware of how you are impacting others.
There is no problem with loving oneself. There is no problem being generous with oneself or thinking highly of oneself. We need to let go of shame around these good things.
So let’s create a culture of permission to love ourselves voraciously, but not at the expense of our love for others.
Let’s love ourselves unconditionally.
We still have a few spaces left in our Hawaii Feb 15-19 @shift_retreats in the Big Island!
JUST $599 for tickets (payment plans available!), inclusive of lodging, all chef prepared meals by @vitamin.katie kundalini by @krisvangenderen , cacao by @loveyourlifeshow and coaching by yours truly!
Last time I was on this Island, I had thousands of dollars sent to me unexpectedly, got brilliant ideas about how to move forward with my business and felt physically and emotionally incredible!
And when you combine the power of this Island with the life changing Transformational work that we do in these retreats, MIRACLES happen.
DM me if you’re interested. Link in bio!
Anyone else feeling in a FUNK lately? 🙋🏻♀️ Blame it on the m-m-m-m-m-m-m-ma-moon, blame it on whatever you’d like but don’t be fooled: we cannot intellectualize or explain away our emotional state of being.
The mind can create temporary, illusory fixes but we only end up trapped further in mental snares. The body, however, always knows what we need.
We must create white space in our lives where we stop trying to figure things out and allow ourselves to be guided by what our bodies want in the moment.
You will probably find yourself in a tree, or laying in the grass looking at the sky, or with a paint brush or pen in hand, or dancing through the room.🌈 💫Practice listening to your body without a filter or an agenda and see what inspiration awakens. 🦋
@janeislistening and I created Root + Rise (a sacred incubator for the awakening change maker) because we saw a gap that needed to be bridged between the world of mental transformation and the world of healing, plant medicine and ceremony. ... Through transformational coaching, I help people to identify how their past-based beliefs and understanding of themselves and the world shapes the future that they see possible for themselves. This work is necessary because we must investigate the intellect and mental concepts so that we can bring our unconscious thought processes and tendencies into the light of awareness. ... But it is crucial that transformational work does not stop there. The intellect operates separately from our deeper being. When we live in ideas and emotional concepts, life feels shallow. We can't use the mind to fully enter the present moment—to access creative spontaneity.
... So once we understand how we feel and think, we need to then engage the whole body mind, not just mental concepts. To do this, energy must be invoked through spontaneously engaging in non-rational activities such as dance and song. Ceremony is a space in which one can immerse herself completely into what she is doing in the moment, to invite expanded awareness in which the whole body mind, not just the intellect or the emotions or the physical self, can participate. To allow the body to express freely and uninhibitedly provides space for understanding that cannot be reached directly through reasoned thinking. The whole body must participate. ... That is the curriculum we are creating. A transformative experience that engages all parts of ourselves. We invite you to apply to Root + Rise 2018: rootandrise2018.com
Excerpt from my latest @elephantjournal article: ....
"I want to get out of my head." "I want to be more in the moment." Where the heck are we trying to get to when we want to get out of our heads? There’s nothing else out there. To get out of our heads would be to cease to experience.
Likewise, we can never be more in the moment, because we are always only ever in the moment. There is no where else to be. We have never been anywhere else besides the moment.
The moment is absolute. We can’t be MORE inside of something that we are already inside of wholly and completely.
Our consciousness and the moment is all there ever is. So why are we trying to get out of our heads and into the moment?
What people really mean when they say they want to be more in the moment and out of their heads is that they want to have less thoughts and judgements.
But the thought “I want to have less thoughts,” is just one more judgmental thought.
We want to be more present because we want to be less controlled by the mind. But it’s that very mind that is telling us we should be more present, convincing us that there is something wrong with our thought patterns that needs to be fixed.
If you are trying to be more present, you are not really being present. You are trying to get somewhere.
True presence is the act of loving what is. Trying to be present is the opposite of that.
True presence is something that arises spontaneously, without force. It is grace, and it can’t be manipulated into being.
It requires surrender. Not force. Not ambition. Not trying.
Which is why it is problematic that we have come to look upon “being present” as an achievement, and the extent to which we are present as an indicator of our worth.
Presence is a gift from the universe. Not an accomplishment of the mind.
So don’t be fooled. It is only the ego that wants you to be more present.
Grace certainly isn’t telling us to be more present. Grace doesn’t believe that a thoughtless moment is inherently more valuable than a moment full of thought.
Presence, for me, is like a cat. The more you want it to come to you, the more it evades you. The more we yearn for presence to come, the less room is has
It’s been almost four years since I was living in one of my favorite places on earth, South Africa, on a service learning trip. I’ve been dreaming about it ever since. And today, I go back!!!! We will be in Nelspruit on a safari for five days and then Cape Town here we come! HMU if you’ll be there! #capetown#southafrica
To look at yourself through the eyes of another is to objectify yourself. It is to think that you are some fixed thing and then try to figure out what that thing is by collecting others perceptions, mosaic-Ing them together and then thinking that picture is you. They don’t know you. And I don’t mean that in a sassy, defensive way. I mean that they don’t know you because you dont know yourself. Not because you haven’t discovered yourself yet, but because there is nothing to know. You are not the seen, you are the seer. You are not who loves you, but love itself. You are the awareness in which all of your possessions, other’s opinions and your thoughts and beliefs arise. Those are just things. Your job is to see all things with love. The only time we don’t see with love is when we identify ourselves wrongly with something and become protective of it. This is the root of all insecurity and anger and jealousy and hatred and shame. But you have no identity to protect because there is nothing true that you can say about yourself because any descriptor you can point to is simply an object of your awareness. You are the ultimate subject beyond all objects. You are no thing. And everything.
When you have friends who will come sing Christmas carols around the piano, decorate a gingerbread house and play holiday games with you for hours on a Saturday night--you have won at life. We love our friends. We love our home. We love our lives. Happy holidays! 🎅🏼 🎄
Because confidence is not a possession. It's not something that some people magically have more of. It is not something that you can earn. It is not an award for accomplishments. Confidence is a self-generated way of being. You can choose to be it at at any moment, regardless of the results you have produced, regardless of your circumstances. You do not need permission. You do not have to prove that you deserve confidence. Just choose to be it. You are free to be confident right now. To discover what that would look like for you, download the free video series where experts coach you on how to BE confident whenever, wherever. Thank you @katherinekoroll for including me in this spectacular series. FREE WORLD CONFIDENCE SUMMIT:☀️ http://bit.ly/2BujHuD ☀️