Be afraid, be very afraid, this warning has been issued to all predators who choose to violate my exercise yard. The Warden has found incriminating evidence which is now being collected in crime scene bags (poop bags). I don’t need to see the evidence, it’s in the air, I can smell the furry little creatures, according to the size of the evidence these are disturbingly large animals. The eye twitching is also an indication of the violation.
This was the first time I was able to walk dad since he had a hip replacement (20 days ago), we had to take basset steps, small steps and short sniffs. I’ve moved my blanket to beside his lift chair so he can easily reach down and do his rub and scratch therapy. I sleep beside him at night just so I can keep an eye on him, the good news is he can now reach my treat cabinet and let me outside at all hours. The Warden is hovering around and making special treats for dad, forgetting all about his lifestyle choices, at least for awhile.
Persistence is a virtue, don’t be deterred by the first NO, even if it’s said in a firm voice. Circle around and try another location, stare deeply into their eyes, staying low to the ground gives the impression of a weakened state, you can only be revived by a special treat. Try whimpering at first, remember low energy, a head tilt should sway the vote your way, eventually they’ll weaken, it’s just a matter of time. I’m a professional, I’ve studied human behaviour my whole life, if one tactic doesn’t work try another.
It’s gonna be a biscuit burying and nap day for two reasons, first because it’s going to rain all day, secondly, we just finished a busy long weekend with my brother being home. The conditions are perfect for napping with the pitter patter sounds of rain, and you know one thing is for sure, I’m not going outside again today. I was coaxed out earlier this morning with the promise of a treat, it worked.
One last walk with my brother before he leaves for home, one more vigorous scratching session and the end of a gravy weekend. The Warden is busy preparing a care package for him to take home, I’ll be sending a little reminder of our time spent together, hair and drool all over his coat. Chances are slim he’ll get out the door without a brush down and a wet cloth fixing his coat before he heads off to the big city.
What could be better than one hand softly caressing you, giving you a deep ear rub, scratches up and down your back, well what could be better, that would be two hands, the other hand rubbing your belly and massaging your neck line. I’m going to take it even a step further, there’s a third hand (move over and make room for another person), this hand will be offering you your favourite treats. This treatment will be considered the Deluxe Package. As a side note, did you know that caressing a basset ear has a calming effect.
It’s a gravy weekend, my brother is home for the weekend, this also means lots of scratches and hair in the air. Very little nudging required, he seems to know I’m close and available for unlimited attention, he sometimes slips up and uses two hands when he’s working, it’s a slight faux pas but the situation corrects itself with some strong hints of moaning and nudges. It’s gonna be a great day, the roast is simmering in gravy, extra walks and The Warden catering to our every need.
Let’s make this an Olympic Hound Sport, bury the biscuit in the snow mountain and see how fast I can sniff it out. Now if you really want to make this a gold medal competition I dare you to place a small roast (still warm) in the snow, this mountain will soon become a tiny mound scattered all over and the prize will be devoured in no time, wait, better time me, it’s an Olympic event. Come on Warden it’s a dare, let’s do it.
Throwing it back to a few years ago when The Warden thought she was in control, when every hair was swept up as it gently fell to the floor. As she tried to touch up all the spots I chewed on the furniture or the constant searching in the cushions for any buried biscuits. Those were the days, now she just drinks more and stares off into the corner, at the same time she lovingly scratches my back while watching the hair float in the air.
Nothing says love more than hot sizzling bacon strips in the morning, turn up the heat at lunch to a smouldering piece of chicken covered with cheese, on to the ultimate display of a romantic dinner, lights are dimmed, the savouring smells of roast simmering in gravy, your gravy dippers hang in anticipation. This is what love is all about, doing something special for those that you love and care about, it’s all about the little things, be thoughtful and kind each and every day. Happy Valentines Day my friends ❤️
We have a special offer today, free snow, come one come all, take as much as you want. The Warden put a sign out front but it got buried under the snow. I’m proposing another marketing strategy, we offer a free roast beef dinner for every truck load of snow removed, featuring me, Miss Lilly, as a special dinner guest.
Talk to the paw cause all I’m hearing is blah blah blah. Yes I can feel that 100 watt glare but save it for someone who really cares. Come to me gently if you please but it is highly recommended that you be dangling some cheese. This morning message is my Monday Vibe.
I almost got lost in the backyard, the snow mountains have taken over, I had to sniff my own tracks to get out of this maze. The good news is the surveillance cameras can’t see my every move, which makes The Warden nervous, what does she think is going to happen. Even if I did try an escape over the snow mountains I’d have no where to go, if you can believe this, no one else shovels their backyard.
For some reason The Warden likes to tuck in ‘my’ blankets on ‘my’ lounger, how’s one to bury their biscuits under these constraints. May I suggest that each blanket be gently toss allowing the freedom of movement, or on a whim could be yanked off and dragged around the room.
I’m under interrogation, The Warden has launched an investigation into why I would scratch the door to go out, then when everyone drops what they’re doing and rush to my assistance, I would turn away and walk towards the treat cabinet. In my defence where is it written that I have to get my treat after I come in not before I go out. This has nothing to do with rewarding bad behaviour or using treats as a training tool but if you want to consider that I deserve a treat for just being me, let’s go with that.
Extreme winter fitness, do not try this without proper training. While doing the agility course you can also scout for possible biscuit burial sites, remember to bark out your whereabouts to the rescue team in case an evacuation is required. It also helps to be light on your feet, you can’t afford to sink and get buried in the snow, do this before you have a big meal.
Some may say I have a few diva tendencies, not true, I’m just confident, I know what I want when I want it. Do I require a lot of attention, of course, but who doesn’t want to be pampered, petted and scratched. Do I deserve aged cheese and a small roast dripping in gravy, most definitely, this girlish figure needs to be maintained. I’m just a slip of a girl living the simple life.
Gravy coated biscuits are Tongue Out Tuesday Treats, take your time and savour the moment. Don’t sweat the small stuff like messing up your lounger, forget the slobber and biscuit crumbs, ignore the hair in the air, if you have great housekeeping service then these little things miraculously get taken of.