JOY FINDS YOU IF YOU LET IT.
So - I emerged from my cave today and ended up at the Venice Boardwalk.
I set out, the subject of my own experiment, to see how death has changed my view of the world. .
Out from the dire fluorescence of the hospital and the eerie facade of the funeral home, I wanted to see for myself if the world still hurtles forward. Indeed it does, ferociously. .
Not even trying, I noticed everything in a sharp, exquisite way. With extreme clarity - like through a new pair of glasses - and all the detail I used to miss came into focus. Things moved in slow motion. I was amazed at literally everything - trash blowing in the wind, the smell of hot dogs, and the shrieks of teenage girls. For the first time in a long while, joy arrived.
It was twilight - which for Venice Beach means dazzling streaks of something in the sky. Tonight it was pink strutting her stuff across the clouds.
Each person was a galaxy of intrigue. I marveled at all the different shades of velvety skin. I wished I could touch every person and tell them how precious they are.
Then all of a sudden my heart flapped her wings. Out of nowhere came a parade of bike riders with blinking lights. BLINKING LIGHTS!?!?! And TONS OF THEM. No matter that I’ve seen this, like, a thousand times before. Today - I have never seen anything more beautiful or completely necessary to the human condition as a parade of bikes with blinking lights. I wept - for the gift of being alive, for my mother who probably never got to see bikes with blinking lights, and for anyone out there - maybe even you - who feels that happiness is out of reach. 💛
Joy finds you if you let it. And oh my god, please let it. .
“All my life, I would like to say I was a bride married to amazement.” - Mary Oliver
I love you.