Scared shitless that my wound is not healing properly and it's gonna open up after removing the stitches and I just really had to get this out of my system cause I'm fucking scared and nervous and crying my eyes out.
I haven't seen Shawn now for now like 3 hours and already feel how much I miss him. To that, I feel awful because I didn't give much attention to my friends lately. They were always there for me and still are and I was so busy with Shawn that I didn't really care about them. The guilty conscience makes me feel so bad so I decide to just call them. Maybe it helps if I say sorry. Picking up my phone, I start a telephone conference. As soon as the first toot sound passes, they already all pick up. Damn how can I get so nice friends? They are really ALWAYS there for me. "Heyy Chloe, what's up?", I feel like crying when I hear Lisa's voice. I was the most horrible friend ever. "Hey. I- I just wanted to say sorry...for lately...I didn't give much attention to y'all. And I feel like I don't even appreciate what you are doing for me and that you are always there." Finally it's out. Silence. Then Rachel's voice, "Seriously Chloe, there's nothing to apologize. Really. The thing is, you were never so happy in the past three years like with Shawn. And I guess we all understand that now you're just spending your time with him. That's ok, really. I'm just glad you found someone like him." "I need to say: I love you all a lot." "I love you too!", they all say in chorus before we burst out in laughter. I spend the next hour talking, laughing with them or more over telephone but still so amazing. "Guys, there is something I should tell you: when I came home I heard my mum talking to my dad. Nothing special, actually. But they were like talking really weird. About someone who they know and lives here. Apparently again, she or he moved away and back here. Then I also heard my name but not the context. And now I'm so scared it's something with me", I say. I've been thinking about that all day long while I was missing Shawn and it keeps me worried. "Seems weird. But don't overthink. Maybe they were just talking about you, not the person." "But what if...", I swallow very hard, speaking out my worst conjecture. "What if Damian came back from I don't know where and lives here again?" "Don't even think about that Chloe!", Lisa says. "But what if, Lisa?