My body fluctuates. Sometimes my stomach is flat and sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes my hips swell and sometimes they really swell lol. Sometimes my skin is clear and the next day I’m completely broken out. I never know how my body will react to the stress of chronic pain/illness . #bodyacceptance has become especially important as a #spoonie , it’s helped me stop seeing my body as the enemy , and stop fighting my diagnosis #tbtonasaturday#fibromyalgia#ptsd
Day 61, part 4. Total miles: 735. FT miles: 535.7. Today: 20.6. About to sleep.
Today was quietly and intensely emotional as I battled nicotine withdrawal for the third day. I had to stop into a bar for water and smelled smoke and accidentally said too much about why I have PTSD when someone asked a direct question.
I also walked into a gas station where cigarettes were $5/pack to get a coke and use the bathroom.
I wanted to relapse, especially while walking and beginning to flashback in the woods this afternoon. It was over a rumbling, extremely sensitive interpersonal conflict. In the past, I would have figured out the closest place to get a lit cigarette into my face and just gotten there. Today, I felt a stronger resistance, though. I can't give up. Not yet. Not yet. I don't want to die like that. I want to breathe, even though it makes feeling everything so much harder. Please, please, I want to do the harder thing here just once. Please, please, let me just last until the intensity passes. Please, please, let me choose feeling here even though it is almost unbearable. Please, please, let it be no worse than almost.
I walked out of that gas station. I walked out and I walked back into the fucking woods.
(2/3) Force : The CF Hive
Force was named by our amazing cyster Sandi @behind.the.smile.of.a.cystic. .
Force represents the collective strength of the people in the Hive. Even with limited lung function, CF’ers use their breathe to create a powerful voice. 💜😗The logo is designed as if the word force is being blown over = Power. Unity. Kindness. Finally the word Force contains both the letters C & F. Coincidence? 😛. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Since naming the Hive, Sandi has passed but she has left her mark on the CF Community that will keep her spirit and this Hive alive.
Join Force - Reserve Your HealthFile today! .
Love Purple 💜
Be Orange 🐝🍊
You guys- my husband got my out of town besties (@susanzsings) to come into town for my birthday to celebrate this weekend! They helped make @theurbanposer's chocolate joconde sponge with a triple sec whipped cream and strawberry coulis for my birthday cake. This is literally the best birthday cake I've had since I've gone gluten free, y'all.
Endometriosis Awarness Month Photo Challenge: Day 17 - I am thankful for...(keeping it to 2 things to keep it easy on me. I am struggling to string thoughts together coherently due to pains)
My husband & cannabis.
I can't imagine my life without my husband. I have grown so much because of what I have been learning from him. He's my biggest support, he's been by my side for 6yrs & seen so much of my sickness. We started dating just before my health took a dive & He didn't run away. He makes me laugh so much, he loves making me laugh.
I can't imagine my life without cannabis. I went from sleep 14-16hrs a day with the rest of the time too exhausted & in pain to move off the couch, to sleeping 8-10hrs a day with energy to do chores or even go on a small hike. It helps with my chronic headaches, chronic nausea, IBS like symptoms, Endometriosis, it helps keep food in me longer so I have a better chance of absorbing nutrients & minerals. I am also generally happier because I am not in lots of pain, I can usually get my pains to a tolerable level (5) from pains at 7 sometimes 8. Cannabis is the only thing that helps this many symptoms & to this degree. Pharma pills hardly did anything & even harmed my body. I have a sensitive right atrium now that easily goes into tachycardia (just getting out of bed is enough to do it) & nerve pains that feel either like a cut or a burn. I even had a horrible nightmare experience with Celexa when the doctors were trying to block the nerve signals my intestines were sending to my brain. It massively hampered my short term memory & made my muscles weaker to he point where I collapsed on the side of the road. So yea I can't imagine being in constant various pains & sleeping all the time. I would be in & out of the hospital a lot.
Happy St Patrick's Day, fellow foodies! Since today's holiday is themed around the color green, I thought that this would be a perfect time to give y'all a matcha green tea recipe! This recipe is perfect for both healthy eaters and for regular bakers because this recipe does NOT taste healthy. If you ever are needing something to satisfy your bread, sugar, or chocolate cravings, these donuts are right up your alley. Hope you all have fun making these, and enjoy sharing them with your family and friends!
🍀Green tea Chocolate Donuts🍀
1 1/4 cup coconut sugar
1 1/2 cup spelt flour
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp matcha powder
1/2 cup melted coconut oil
1/2 cup water
3 eggs/flax eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
1. Whisk together all dry ingredients into a large bowl and set aside.
2. In a medium sized bowl, combine the wet ingredients.
3. Fold the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients with a spatula until a creamy consistency. *Note*: this recipe can be baked in a donut maker or a donut pan.
4. If you are using a donut pan, set your oven to 350' and grease a mini cupcake pan. These should bake for about 7-10 min. If you are using a donut maker, grease the maker with coconut oil and pour the batter into the holes.
5. When they are done baking, set them on a wire rack to cool. 🍀Chocolate Drizzle Sauce🍀
1/2 cup coco powder
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1/2 cup honey
1 tsp vanilla extract
1.Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl.
2. You can modify the ingredients until it becomes the correct consistency.
Well, here you have it. The perfect thing for a sweet tooth! Hope you all have an amazing week💕 Until next week, friends❤️❤️
#paleorecipes#glutenfreedonuts#matchadonuts#matchatea#matchaholic#donuts 🍩 #donutlover#glutenfree#dairyfree#foodie#potsie#potsawareness#lymie#lymediseaseawareness#lymelife#spoonie#spoonielife#stpatricksday#stpatricksdaydonuts
Really proud of this #resin piece. This is only my second time trying it, but my sister @sweetpeachcraftbox is showing me the ropes. I’m going to put some little spoon charms on this one, and make it a keychain when I get the right chain. Having such a fun time playing with resin. Don’t worry though, I’m going to work on spoons this week ✌️. Also, I’m so glad you guys like the decoden spoon! I’ll pull a name out of a bowl by tomorrow night 💖
You’re beautiful because you’re YOU! Not because you’re a clone of the person next to you. There are gifts and talents inside of YOU! A perspective that the world needs... don’t try to hide it 💛 #ImMoreThanAPrognosis
Redoing my green hair tomorrow 💚🍀🌱
I'm editing a video review of L'Oréal Colorista so keep your eyes peeled for that on youtube some time next week 🙌🏻 I dip dyed the ends on Thursday to see how well it would take and it took really well, but it is easier to wash out than I had expected which is great. 💚
I normally find that either wash in wash out hair dye never washes out properly, or it won't take at all.
This takes well and washes out eventually. It's definitely one of the best non permanent hair dyes I have ever used. .
I took this photo on Friday after I had washed my hair. It was a lovely deep emerald before washing, as shown on the box but about a shade lighter perhaps. 💚
A little bit goes a really long way with this product, so the bottle is for multiple uses, and at £6 or so, (can't remember the exact price) for I'd estimate around 3 or 4 uses is a blooming bargain! 🌻
Note to self though. Dye your hair the evening of the morning you wash your hair. Then you have 6 days of not washing it and your colour will last if its wash out... I am considering doing my whole hair.
Keep your healthcare items in multiple places for comfort and convenience. I have duplicates of many items So that I can have them in my car, purse or other locations. Here are some of mine... what are some of yours?
I am off to get all cosy and snuggled up in bed.
Today has been an amazing day, it hasn’t been pain free or even low pain but it has been productive.
I feel like I have finally made a break through and it feels like coming up for air! .
It is so cold here in the uk so, I hope princess Peggy here has you inspired to get yourself all toasty and warm.
I’d really love to know what you guys are up to tomorrow ( Sunday ) as I have no plans and need a bit of motivation and inspiration. Let me know in the comments 😘
This is on my copy of the letter sent to my primary care dr. Apparently I'm a pleasant person. Lol
Would they write if I was rude or difficult?? Lol
Day 17- What I'm Thankful For
I have been incredibly blessed in my life. No matter what difficulties I may be facing, I have a wonderful support system to help me through. It feels silly saying this to you all, becasue you are part of it! I am thankful for my family as well. Especially my Mom, who also happens to be my best friend. I am thankful for the opportunities I have been able to have, inspite of being a sick girl all these years. But more then anything, I am thankful for my puppies. Who just plain make life better all around. This sweet angel is my Delilah-girl and has been sticking close to me as I have been crying all day due to exhaustion and being led on an emotional rollercoaster at the Drs. But I'm all cried out and ready to move on to something more productive. They ordered more tests for next Friday. So hopefully will learn more then. Also, Happy St Patrick's Day everyone! 💛💚🍀💚💛 #endophotochallenge#endophotochallange2018#endosister#endometriosis#speakendo#theendoproject#endowarriortribe#spoonie#chronicallyill#fibrofighter#sickgirlsclub#dogsofig#bestdogsintheworld#ridgeback#greatdanemix
:: Dysautonomia Daze :: 😩💓🤕
Sorry I wasn't able to post more this past week. My schedule has been all over the place lately and so has my hypertension. I usually don't have constant symptoms from hypertension at rest. Since I have Hyperadrenergic POTS, my resting blood pressure is typically elevated. It's not really dangerous. My orthostatic hypertension is usually more bothersome. However, this week I've been having constant headaches and other symptoms. 🤕💓😓
Typically after my saline infusions my resting blood pressure decreases slightly. But the infusions increase my orthostatic hypertension. So I tried calling my local neurologist who orders my infusions. Unfortunately he's out of the country until April and their on-call doctor never called back.
I already have very little trust in this doctor's judgement after my last appointment. 🙄 ……………………………………………............................
So I also contacted my cardiologist (he's about 3 hours away). They called within the hour! He suggested increasing one of my hypertension meds.... and giving it a week or so. 👀😦😅I still don't feel right and am taking things easy. The meds may not even help, because they already don't really work. ……………………………………………............................
The infusions seemed to be increasing my hypertension the past few weeks, but they are the only treatment that lowers my tachycardia and presyncope.🤷🏽♀️ I'm not really sure if I should stop doing saline infusions for something so time consuming I only notice a difference for about 12 hours and it may not be worth it. 😕