Ugh! After a really good week and a half, I’m back on the sofa with debilitating neck and back pain. Perhaps carrying a heaving backpack after a yoga class working on heart opening ie also the upper back. Who knows? Currently seeing an osteopath, doing gentle yoga and doing some energy flow coaching... it’s going to take some time but am hopeful I’ll be back to full health within the year. It’s all about doing the ‘work’... which today involves a Netflix binge accompanied by self medication with G&T #spoonie#spoonielife#chronicfatigue#backandneckpain#fibromyalgia#selfmedication#paininthebum
To keep my mind clear and heart pumping like V8 I had a siesta time run today.💪
This is the beach promenade view from the peer in Torrevieja.
Today I ran to the end of the peer and enjoyed the view from different angle on Torrevieja.
I don't go here every day and when you spend your time only between the concrete jungle.
Torrevieja is an old fisher village and it grew too fast in too short time.
You can see beautiful modern office buildings with their glittering windows next to some dirty and abandoned house.
When I stay in the belly of this two-faced Torrevieja for too many days without going out to beach to see the beauty of the place then you can forget that you actually live in paradise - no matter what they say!😉🏝☀
The summer is coming and Europe is soon on holidays. Getting myself educated in holiday rental area and I will have the opportunity to be a host for summer holiday apartment.
How cool is that?!☀🙂
One more thing. I've been in Spain now for 6 months and you can read about my review about this period soon!😉😉😉🌞🌞🌞 #holatravelblog#runtastic#torrevieja#family#blogger#traveltips#lifestyle#spain#estravelgram#alicantegram#españagram#followgram#rungram#holiday#booking#holidayrentals#estonia#resocialization#selfmedication#psychedelictraveler#skaugur55#costablanca#travelspain
Back in 2004 I had a very serious job, helping people hold their lives together in often extreme situations, I was also a very serious chain smoker; totally addicted to the brown weed while at the same time wanting to quit.
My Doctor prescribed Zyban saying it had good results. For those that dont know Zyban was actually a powerful anti-depressant (at the stronger end of the market) taken off the pharma schedule as such but added back on as an anti smoking drug.
Well, I took the Zyban for about 3 and a half weeks and can see how people would stop smoking. You simply forget to, but you also forget how to do anything else. For about 2 and half weeks of the meds (they take about a week to kick in) I don't know if I was eating, sleeping, showering, how I managed to drive or go to work but to work I did go. I remember this moment sitting at my desk staring out the window. For god knows how long I sat there, watching the sun move across the sky when a cabbage moth caught my gaze inspiring me to pen this poem.
A couple of days later I stopped taking the meds cold turkey. The withdrawals werent the kindest, but not the worst I've been through. It gave me a very brief insight into how it feels to take psychotropic meds. Everything just stood still, I didnt feel bad I didnt feel good. I was just in a walking talking daze, it wasnt fun. And despite probably needing medication at times I've avoided, preferring to self medicate with things I thought I could better control.
And I kept smoking for many more years and miss it so now.
The poem is bad, Im not going to rewrite it here, if you want a laugh feel free to zoom. It's now more a personal invocation of those few weeks in time
Mood Chart Day 11: Surreal. I feel like I'm walking around in a daze. Ben and I went to Ross today and the to Fred Meyer. I broke down on the bus and then again right next to the hummus in the grocery store. Everything reminds me of my mother and she is still on the Earth, what will happen to me when she is gone? I bought myself my favorite flowers to cheer me up, the last of the spending.
I'm self medicating with alcohol and Klonopin which seems like the only way to get through the days. I go back to work tomorrow and I don't know how I'm going to cope. I'm afraid people are going to look at me funny or worse, ignore me and not awknowledge why I was out at all. I just want to be held and hugged constantly.