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There is the monster again! Which seems to have found the way in my suitcase two months ago and thought it wants to be a part of my life again! But what should I say! Honestly, I just can’t even find the right words! Don’t know what to do with my thoughts, because where you thought you would be in good hands, small things in life will break a lot! Which means a lot?! I thought I had found my way up to the ladder. Apparently, one step was still too wobbly that tore me down again. It has thrown me down so far that I start again looking for mistakes on myself! Is it the pimples, the hair, my nose, my baby fat, my character, whatever ... or what is it? Yeah, I'm seriously thinking about making my old self right now and that also means changing my hair color every week because it was / is a protection for me. Sounds stupid but human would never understand such a thing anyway. Therefore, an ancient pic from 2 years ago #tb I know it does not make any sense but in moments where you are left alone with the monster, this is by far your biggest problem. Too many thoughts are buzzing in your head and everything is messing it up. I wouldn’t have expected it and I lose faith in the living thing human again ... I thought this year will be my year, but it would have been just too nice.