Oh happiness you myth, you had me fooled that time.
You made me believe that I turned a corner and I had found the magical place where my family and others smile, laugh and play.
Oh you devil you.
Instead I find myself once again left alone in the darkness wondering if I'll ever fit in or truly be loved or welcomed with open arms.
No, happiness you really got me that time. I think I may have even flashed a heartfelt smile in the past few days where I thought I was happy, as I truly believed you had saved me from the evils of my mind, but no.
Now I sit as once again the evils regain control of my mind and remind me that happiness is not something for me. The evils allow me to simply see a glimpse of the smiles, the laughter and love only to pull it all away. Once I convince myself that I can be a part of that fantasy, the evils pull me back into the misery that is my reality.
I blame the happiness as it seems to come so easy to others, and I am left wondering what I have done so that happiness simply does not wish to choose me.
I sit and wait as the evils take the last few moments to completely take over my mind, I wipe the last of my tears away and write this out. The part of me that fell for the myth cries for help, but the words fall on deaf ears and the last words I can muster are...why?
Allow me to remain in the darkness, or pull me out, do not tease my emotions with the glimpses of what I yearn for only to snatch it away and throw me deeper into clutches of the evils.
Oh happiness, you really did fool me that time...
Massive disappointment this morning 😫
My body let me down and my head didn’t help today. I didn’t expect to even hit 3k, I know I got over but I could have done much better.
Leg muscles seemed to engage and stay that way throughout the run making them tight and heavy and not easy to move. .
Left foot is killing me, plantar fasciitis is not easing and just to be a complete ass my arch got a blister on this run about half way through. Why does my left foot hate me so much!
Luckily I was alone this morning, no dog walkers about. It’s a good job as I was intermittently sweating under my breath at myself and getting very angry with my bodies lack of effort today. .
Huge disappointment today 🤬😫😭 #rubbishform#blisters#plantarfasciitis#heavylegs#struggledtoday#toughrun#nothappy#coulddobetter#musttryharder#freshstartnextweek